Death by Annoyance
by EE's Skysong
Summary: Azula and her friends are captured and left with the most annoying men in the world. Sokka and Ty Lee have very different opinions of each other's intelligence. Haru and Azula are acting. Zuko and Mai bore each other. Tykka, Harula, Maiko


Disclaimer: "My old flame was a jester and a joker and a dealer of men They called him the prince The prince of Blackjack"

(An: I told myself I'd never write a straight Ty Lee pairing- much less a Tykka- but here I am doing it. Damn! I've got nothing against the ship, it's just not that interesting. "You're hot, I'm hot, let's make out!" But I insist that Ty Lee isn't as thick as she acts. And yay Harula!)

She makes a pretty prisoner, sitting there with her head tilted to one side and her grey eyes large in the darkness. "Are you going to interrogate me?" she asks, nibbling on the tip of her braid. "Or are you just going to sit there and pose for me?"

Funny how she can make anything sound like flirting. I just shrug, trying to ignore her. I was put on guard duty because I can't bend, so she can do the least damage to me. It's undeniable and incredibly annoying.

Mostly because she's cute. If we had met as normal people meet, you know, in a market or something, instead of on opposite sides of a fight, I probably would have regarded her as a little sister. A little sister who was very pretty and kept throwing herself at me, but a little sister nonetheless. She's just so innocent. It reminds me of Katara as a little girl. Except that I don't have to take a cold shower after I think about Katara.

She fidgets. There isn't much space in the cage or between the bars to prevent her from getting into some weird position and wiggling out.

…I really shouldn't complain about thinking the girl is pretty because I just seem to keep walking into these situations. Dammit!

Judging by her sly giggle, she knows why I just crossed my legs. "Quit pretending, cutie," she snickers. "I know you like me."

"Yeah, but I'm not supposed to," I mutter.

She still catches it. That giggle is getting annoying. "So?"

I glance at her, but her face is guileless as usual. _Spirits, she really is that sweet._

O-o-O-o-O

He makes a handsome guard, sitting cross-legged in a chair and trying to act like he really does find his book more interesting than me. I know it was just an act, though, and apparently he knows I know.

He pinches the bridge of his nose. The boy's even cuter than usual when he's annoyed. And twice as funny. I think that getting to watch him like this is fair payback for being trapped in this dumb cage. _I wonder if Azula and Mai are having as much fun as I am…_

"Are you always this aggravating or only around me?"

I shrug and do a handstand. "I wouldn't know. I can't judge myself. After all, you think you're smart, so if I think I'm smart, that probably means I'm not."

His jaw drops. "Was that actually an intelligent insult? The world's gone nuts."

"That happened a long time ago." He looks at me sharply again, but I just smile back. That's the easiest way to make people think you're stupid- smile all the time. People tend to underestimate people who smile.

That doesn't change the fact that I'm waiting for him to lean close enough for me to jab him somewhere, anywhere. Even without hitting an optimal spot, I can still do a lot of damage. Besides, it's an excuse to feel that brown skin again. Mmm.

After a moment, he smiles back. It's small and hesitant, but it's there. _Spirits, he really is that stupid._

O-o-O-o-O

He smiles innocently enough. I'm trying to pick hatred or rage out of that smile- _something_ that I can use against him- and failing terribly. His smile reminds me of Ty Lee's, all innocence and sunshine, except I know Ty Lee's pretending. He appears sincere. Weird.

"So how long am I expected to wait placidly in here?" I ask, inspecting my fingernails.

He shrugs. "At least until Katara and Aang get back," he replies, in a tone as cheerful and nonchalant as his smile. He must be a simpleton. "So probably a while, Princess."

Something about his tone gets my hackles up. For a moment, it's slightly mocking. Not enough to make me change my mind about him, but enough to make me suspect. After all, he does remind me of Ty Lee- people may think she's stupid, but she's still alive. Something about this boy seemed much the same. "And quit glaring at me like that. There's nothing either of us can do about it, so we may as well get along."

"And why would I want to do that, _peasant_?"

The word would have had the Water Tribe boy on his feet in an instant, but him, nah. He just keeps smiling that smile. One that I now desperately want to smack off his face. In fact, he chuckles softly, shaking his head. "You know, they said you would do this."

"What?"

"Try to get a rise out of me. Well, I'm sorry, Princess, I'm just not that way."

"Oh. So they set you to guard me because you like men?"

For a moment, his face contorts into a frown that doesn't suit him, and then he forces himself to calm. I resist the urge to smirk. _So you really are just acting. How convenient._

O-o-O-o-O

I try to conceal the fact that she actually got to me that time and fail miserably. I've never been good at lying. But I _am_ good at keeping my temper. So I just smile back at her and cross my arms. "Good one, Princess. I like girls just fine. But unlike Sokka or Zuko, I don't freak out whenever someone suggests otherwise."

"So someone has done it before?" She seems honestly amused at the concept. Maybe she's not as cold as she acts.

"Well, I must admit, I have girly hair."

She snorts. "Yes, you do. I bet not even Ty Lee spends as much time on it as you do."

"Now that's just cold. Would you believe I wake up like this?"

"If I were blind and deaf, perhaps." She rests her head on her arms. The shackles around her hands and feet clink softly, reminding me that I am talking to one of the most powerful, ruthless women in the world.

…It's kind of hot, actually.

She meets my eyes, and I can tell she's thinking about the same thing- the power, not the hotness. She smirks. It's amazing how cold her eyes can be even though they're the color of hot copper. I lean against the bars of her cage, frowning down at her. _So the friendliness is an act, is it?_

O-o-O-o-O

She stares at me. I stare back. It's going to be a very boring time. Katara and Aang knew about my history with Mai, but they still stuck me with her because there really wasn't anyone else to do it. Haru's the only one laid-back enough to watch Azula, and Sokka's the only one who can't bend, so Ty Lee can't hurt him as bad as us.

Besides, she probably won't attack me.

I had my doubts about that, but it seems true. She's just staring at me sullenly.

I know that neither of us are going to attempt conversation. Me? I just hate small talk. It's pointless. I hate anything that wastes my time. She's the same way. Besides, what would we talk about? The only thing we have in common is Azula. Not exactly a great conversation piece, my sister. At least, I wouldn't discuss her over coffee. It'd ruin my appetite.

Mai shifts in place. I wonder when one of us is going to look away. Well, I'm certainly not going to do it first. Not me. My sister may have taught her defiance, but I've been living with Azula almost my whole life. She just went to that stupid academy and took over Ba Sing Se with her.

I stretch, and she looks away. _See? I'm stronger._

O-o-O-o-O

I understand that, in his mind, I've lost some kind of contest. I don't care. I'm not much for posturing. Still, I'll go down in his estimation, and that would not suit me. Not at all. "That was a dirty trick," I comment.

He resettles himself and props his chin on his fist, shrugging. "It would be a dirty trick if I planned it, and I didn't."

I eye him suspiciously, but he just shrugs and stretches again, looking exquisitely bored. He's probably just as bored as I am. Good. Let him be that way, stupid, bothersome fire prince. He's always ruining my plans. If you need an example, just look at me now- stuck in a cage with only _him_ for company. Not my plan. Waiting for judgement from the Avatar's friends and expecting no kind word from him. Still not my plan. And unable to stifle a flutter in my chest when he stretches? _Definitely_ not my plan. If I had it my way, I would hate him.

I just... can't quite manage it for some reason. Don't ask me why. Boys are dumb anyway. All strutting and arrogance. It's why Ty Lee likes them, and why Azula can manipulate them. And me? I tend to be at their mercy, even though I'm the one who's least interested. _Maybe I am the weak one._

(And that's that. Review!)


End file.
